Mothers are Great! But. . .So Am I.
I am not a selfish person. I LOVE children. I am a teacher and a pretty popular one at that. I however, have never had children. I won’t go into specifics but if I could have had children I would have had one by now. Once I got to an age where, for a woman, it sort of becomes now or never I truly thought about how I felt. The idea of never having children didn’t tear me up inside. I didn’t feel like there was a hole in my life that needed to be filled by a child. So I shrugged my shoulders and went on. My only worry is who will make sure the care givers in my nursing home won’t abuse me. Yes, that is my only worry. That is not a reason to have a child.
I’ve always been very independent and my mother once told me, “Dana, I worry you’ll be alone all your life.” She meant finding a husband. The thing is, finding a partner does not mean I’ll have a companion all my life. Especially if it’s a man. Men die! Sorry, but you guys do. There are at least 5 old ladies to every 1 old man I know.
Where are their husbands? Dead! That’s where!
(Side note) I had a very smart health professor in college. He said, “Men don’t die before women because life for them is harder, more stressful, or women nag them to early graves. Men die before women because they won’t go to a doctor.” He’s right. I can’t tell you how many stories I have heard about men doing crazy crap instead of taking themselves to a doctor. Example, I have heard at least two stories about men with giant growths on their legs who just started wearing baggy sweat pants to hide it rather than go to a doctor about them. WTF!?
OK, back to post topic. I told my mom that if I truly didn’t want to be alone I should just have kids. I didn’t need to get married. I think she just stared at me till I walked my 17 year old self away. In the end I got married and never had kids. . .Oh well.
What is my point in all of this? I’m not really sure. I guess to say that I have met some women who were either confused, worried or even downright upset that I didn’t do everything I could to have children. They make me feel like I need to explain myself. This is especially true with some women because I am a teacher. Some women (and I keep saying women because it has always only been women) think that because I don’t have kids I must not like kids. NO! I like kids a lot! . . .Mainly because I don’t have to go home to three of my own.
Don’t you understand? A rested teacher is a better teacher. At least for me. I love kids!! They are great! I get to go home after 9 hours or more (teachers really do work a LOT of hours during the school year) of teaching them and take a nap. Sometimes for 2 hours. I need that. I would not be a happy person without that.
Now I want to take my first comment back. I guess I am selfish in a way. Mothers risk their health, their sleep, their brain power, and their feeling of “self” so that they can bring new lives into the world. I don’t want to give all that up. However, that doesn’t make me a bad person.