I think puppies are cool. This blog is not so much about puppies but dating a non-abusive person. Stick with me. I know a girl who started dating this guy. One night he invited her over to his place to watch a movie. One thing led to another (no, this isn’t going where you think it’s going) and they started to fight. He became very agitated and kicked his dog across the room. Not only did he lose the girl but she took the dog. I say RIGHT ON! She still has the dog by the way. 😀

It seems to me that when people start dating an abusive person many times (Not all the time and I am in no way saying that every abusive relationship could have been avoided) they give us hints as to who they are early on. In a way, they are showing us what they are like and seeing if we will accept it. I’ve ended relationships over what some would consider silly things, but for me they were an indication as to how this person was going to treat me down the line.

I am no psychologist, therapist or even a counselor but sometimes common sense does not need a degree. There were two main things that I always looked for when I started dating someone. They worked pretty well for me.

1. How does he treat his mother? This is the first woman in his life and if Freud is correct his first love (GROSS!). His mother may be a horrible human being and deserves his disdain but that does not mean he doesn’t have, “How to treat a woman with respect.” issues. He may be sweet as pie to you now but when the glamor of new love wears off he still has anger issues towards females that you don’t want to be on the receiving end of.

2. Does he take responsibility for his actions? Are his failings someone else’s fault. Does he always have a scapegoat even down to the smallest of things like hitting his thumb with a hammer, “If whoever made this stupid shelf had done it right that wouldn’t have happened!” etc. . . If he always needs to find someone or something else to blame for the negative things in his life one day that will be you.

Tags: , ,

3 responses to “SAVE ALL THE PUPPIES!”

  1. Overly White Guy says :

    There’s so much I’d love to post in this comment box, but I can’t bring myself to click that “Post” button.

    Firstly, right on for the girl splitting the scene and taking the dog with her. There’s nothing worse than a man who can go from awesome-to-pissy in the blink of an eye. Is she still single? I swear I’m not a dog-kicking type. LOL

    Secondly, I’ve been in abusive relationships (More than I care to admit. That’s a whole separate story.) Yes, there are signs and tells that the other person can give, but more often than not there are also triggers. Most abusive people are either very reactionary (as in they must have the last word no matter what and to-hell with what the other person thinks), or they’ve rehearsed the future argument inside their head already. When the discussion deviates from that rehearsal, it’s met with aggression.

    Sounds like the guy in question was the former rather than the latter. They’re particularly dangerous, because they’re unpredictable. Anything can set them off. Their “triggers,” change with each day…

    • polly6119 says :

      Hey Overly White Guy! I love that name! Thanks for commenting man. LOL! No, She isn’t single. . .right now. But if that changes I’ll let you know. Of course the commute is going to be a bitch. She lives in Pennsylvania.

      I see what you’re saying about triggers. That is spot on. I didn’t add it because I, luckily, have not had that much experience with that type of problem when it came to dating. I have known people like that before. They seem totally normal at first but once you get close enough to them you start seeing those warning “triggers”. It’s also frustrating because people like that are NOT open to helpful critique. AT ALL! Like Mommy Dearest, “NO MORE WIRE COAT HANGERS!!” not open to it.

      As to your dating history. I actually meant to put an addendum at the end to express that abusive relationships can go both ways. There are MANY abusive women out there. I wrote this from my perspective which is. . .female (I know! crazy right!! haha)

  2. polly6119 says :

    Oh my freak!! When I click on your name it goes to He Man laughing!! YES!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: